rant volume I

i decided i wanted to start writing on here about certain topics as well, not just what's going on in my head that day.  one of the topics rolling around in my mind a lot is the topic of beauty.  female beauty.  and how skewered it has become in today's society.  i really cannot stand how the status quo in hollywood for actresses is to be anorexic.  i know this is perhaps covered ground, but i don't care.  i'd like to share my 2 cents.  i'm first going to give the examples of certain actresses that started out with an average/normal figure and then obviously succumbed to the pressures of the hollywood machine.  let's start with amanda seyfried.  when i first saw her in 'mean girls' i thought she was GORGEOUS.  

the thing that appealed to me the most about her was that she looked soft,curvy,luscious,juicy. She wasn't SKINNY. But ofcourse now, 5 years or so
she's a huge star, and she's nearly anorexic ofcourse. And it's just not the same.  Ya, she's still pretty, but she's just another nondescript big name blonde actress now. Blah. Bore. Yawn. Next!
There are countless other examples of this.  Most of the big actresses today you can clearly see are starving themselves, and i just don't get it.  Women look SO MUCH BETTER with that extra layer.  What is sexy about skin and bones?  WHY is this the STATUS QUO???  Because Karl dipshit scum-on the bottom of my shoe ass face Lagerfeld will call you fat?  I have such a love/hate relationship with fashion.  I HATE HATE HATE what it has become.  Another giant heaving money grubbing monster of greed spewing poison arrows at vulnerable women everywhere such as yours truly. Making women everywhere feel like they have to weigh 10 lbs and make asses out of themselves by spending thousands of dollars for some piece of crap that bears a coveted label on it. Gross. It just disgusts me to no end.  There are sooo many people suffering in the world, so many people starving to death, fucking BABIES starving to death and I don't understand how the world of fashion can carry on like it does gloating with their luxury and excess. WHY ARE THEY STILL MAKING THESE GODAWFUL HORRIBLE SHITTY ROMANTIC COMEDIES that cost MILLIONS?!? They could be using that money to feed the world!!!  I mean, i know why.  I know. I just dream and dream of some godzilla like creature just erupting from the ground and swallowing all the evil of the world.  I have been feeling sick lately about the fact that I have brought a child into this world.  :(   My son who I love more than life itself...what have i done??  Society is so sick, man.  So so sick.  I hate money.  I DON'T CARE how much MONEY your husband makes! (sorry, that's an inside thing with me, directed to someone who shall remain nameless). All money does is poison people's minds.  Having a home, having food, water, liberty, happiness, these are basic human rights that every man is entitled to!  That's why I'm still here, with no career to show for myself.   I'm TERRIFIED of entering that game, becoming a slave.  I know that may seem utterly ridiculous to probably most of you.  I'm sure I'm going about it the wrong way.  But mortgages, bills, student loans, bank accounts, debt, FUCK YOU! I REFUSE to be a slave! Until I figure out a way to live without all of that....well...i don't know to be perfectly honest.  And i definitely feel the pressure what with a child and all. Anyways, excuse the tangent. I'm just being honest.  Yes, I know I'm a dreamer.  I know I'm way out of my head. I know I'm probably screwed.  But THANK GOD no one can put a price on my dreams.